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08m45s

828 words by attila written on 2022-02-11, last edit: 2022-02-23, tags: outage, telmex, writingPrevious post: Black Lives MatterNext post: House Cleaning


ssh has been red for 8 minutes 45 seconds. a little red square that says: ssh 08m45s, in the middle of it. like some castaway or prisoner, yeah better prisoner: let me be played by john casavetes please ranting, but slowly, ranting and raving and measuring the walls and bars of his cage because in the end he has nothing better to do and there are no jailers, it's all optional, he threw himself in prison: big reveal at 01h08m.

yes we've seen that movie. 01h22m of casavetes chewing the emotional scenery and he uses his molars not just incisors like some clowns. peter faulk inexplicably stumbles in and saves him or maybe not, maybe this is one where he loses, which is funny because they made those to lose money, too i mean why not. what else is paramount pictures going to do with that money? get heston to remake the swimmer? again?

a lot of good art was made to lose money. never forget that. all those movies were made on the hustle, working the system, looking for a tiny platform in a sea of shit and whatever, you know they could've all become communist organizers instead. or maybe they were too. i doubt it, they were never made to pay the price.

but still all the things can be true. and why the fuck have i not been a communist organizer if we're playing which way is up: whoze the booze wazeeeee edition. cut to a montage of me "organizing" something and hah yeah that's the problem beardo, too much the individualism. not about me.

that's how it is, banging my head against the desk for approx 18m04s and muttering into my beardo about casavetes and communist organizing but now the ssshtide is slowly coming in, ping rtts to nyi dropping from 53000ms down through 45000ms into the 20000ms range where it becomes almost feasible and yet still laughable to consider trying to initiate a tcp connection; this is like saying you're going to push a surfboard 100m across a lake of sewage to its tiny little destination on the other side in a stiff wind with waves of shit battering you holding a teacup whose contents you cannot spill, yeah sure, no problem with this takeshi's castle scenario. it will be hilarious and you will end up covered in shit, baba ganoujjjj...

no, of course you get nowhere and fall off. the spell that turned the raging sea of shit into some magically becalmed and perfectly clear lake that smelt like roses and made it possible to think you could do that is broken. there is no rosewater tcp beardo, there is no fucking tcp whatsoever right now, you might try udp if you're lucky, but no look: the little indicator light for dns is red: 12m58s. no dns queries have succeeded going on 13m. the board is red. the tide is out. we are fucked.

at some point though - is it science? - the tide comes in a little more like the pulse of some giant creature waxing and waning as it sleeps, rtts drop down below 12000ms and all of a sudden the board starts to light up dns goes from red to yellow and it's now time to start paddling on my little ssh.surfboard because my window has arrived: I CAN HAZ COMMAND LINE.

my mosh sessions all reestablish themselves immediately and yet again i utter a pithy oath of thanks to the monsters that wrote it please keep it up and yet also fuck off. everyone fuck off. everything fuck the hell off. i have to concentrate and make these stupid fucking hands that don't work anymore type again for let's call it 8min. my window is probably going to be less than that.

sadly i need auth on the other side and mosh bless its cindered little heart cannot forward auth (i agree with that decision) so i have to plain old ouchie tcp ssh in with auth forwarded and ping rtts now dropping below 6000ms and pick it up in my mosh session so i can then, using my udp-based typing prosthetic, punch a few servers in the ass, file a fiew tickets and hop back on my little ssh.surfboard before we're sweeeeeeept out on the tide rtts to nyi now climbing through 15000ms and all the lights on the board go from green to yellow to red dns web ssh tor bye bye bye bye3333333333 stay safe until i can see you again in approx 17m23s unless i'm totally wrong and then it's bye for another day motherfuckers.

except for LNK. LNK stays green. when LNK is not green we are in our alone time no packets box and whatever.

that's when i come here to type at the void.


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